In my blog, a few entries back, I wrote about how important it was to develop self esteem in your child–and I truly do believe that. However I should clarify what I mean by self esteem–or actually, what I do not mean.

Self esteem does not mean simply feeling good about yourself, although that is of course part of it. I have seen and been with children who feel so good about themselves that they think the world owes them–they can do no wrong–what they say or do is just “perfect”. These are the rude, self absorbed products of mindless and baseless praise by well meaning parents, who think they are building their child’s self esteem.

Praise is important, however it should be specific,realistic and truthful. If improvement is necessary–say so. Will your child like it–not necessarily–mine don’t always. However they will grow up with a true sense of their abilities and will eventually appreciate your truthfulness.

True self esteem also includes respect and understanding–respect for other people’s abilities and understanding for their needs and challenges. This leads to empathy which is an outward expression of an inner understanding and acceptance of self. When you understand and accept yourself, you can understand and accept others.

So, parents, there really is more to self esteem than just simply liking yourself.