A new school year is beginning, so a client asked me what is the one thing that she could do that would help her son be more successful in school. My reply–help him to develop his self esteem–his self confidence. Understanding yourself–appreciating yourself–liking who you are–being comfortable with that–is absolutely key to success in school and life.

Of course, her next question was–so how exactly do I do that. Begin with, helping your child to get to really know himself–what is he good at, what are his strengths and challenges, what does he like doing, what doesn’t he like–no judgements, just what is.

Then develop those things he likes and is good at. Have him share those talents with others–develops leadership skills. Praise him specifically–let him “overhear” you praise him to others. Display and support his abilities, no matter your personal preferences.

At the same time, he needs to be aware of his challenges, his needs. They shouldn’t define him, however they shouldn’t be ignored either. Assist him to overcome, adapt or cope with them while at the same time realizing that we all have challenges.

Then finally allow him to make mistakes, to experience frustration and the natural consequences of his actions. In doing so, he will develop resilience and independence. He will see that he can rely on the one person that will be with him his whole life–himself.